The ONLY New Year’s Resolutions You Need This Year
We’re smack dab in the middle of that weird week between Christmas and New Year’s. The week that is part festive–trees and lights (and tiny pieces of torn gift wrapping) adorn the house, Christmas cookies serve as breakfast, lunch, and sometimes dinner, and holiday gatherings are still going strong, part let-down–the big day is over, the decor feels a little stale, and soon the merriment will be a thing of the past and it will be time to settle into three long months of winter, and always confusing–what day is it? Did anyone take out the garbage? Has anyone seen my laptop/keys/slippers? And, right about now, begins the constant bombardment of messaging about New Year’s resolutions.
I hate this messaging.
I have never been a fan of New Year’s resolutions. As a classic questioner, I despise arbitrary dates and deadlines. And as a recovering perfectionist, I do my best to avoid artificial pressures that set me up for failure. You do know the vast majority of New Year’s resolutions fail, don’t you?
But you can’t turn on the tv open a social feed without being accosted by messages about New Year’s resolutions, goals, and self-improvement. Everything from establishing an exercise habit and waking up earlier to eating healthier and be more “successful”–whatever that means. It’s enough to make me want to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head until April.
(More interested in cupcakes than New Year’s resolutions, click HERE for a bonus recipe.)
The problem with New Year’s Resolutions
Just this morning, I had fourteen ads for Wall Pilates, Indoor Walking, and Noom at the top of my Insta feed, all promising to help me keep my New Year’s resolutions. I’m not sure what in the algorithm suggested these ads were right for me, but within ten minutes of waking up I was already starting to doubt myself.
Just kidding. I laughed at the ads and then laced up my shoes for a run on the Peloton, am exercise habit that’s been going strong for over ten years. But constantly being assaulted with messages about how to make yourself thinner, smaller, younger-looking can cause a blow to anyone’s ego. In fact, that’s exactly what it’s designed to do.
That’s one of my beefs with New Year’s resolutions. So many of them reinforce the unattainable norms of a culture obsessed with beauty, thinness, and youngness. These ads are designed to make women (and girls) feel bad about themselves. Then they use this fear of “not being good enough” to cash in, convincing people (especially women) to spend a small fortune to make themselves “better” and conform to society’s ideals.
I don’t want any part of this. That’s why I opted out of New Year’s resolutions a long tome ago. And you can too.
Here are 5 good GREAT reasons to NOT make New Year’s Resolutions this year.
1. You are a questioner, rebel, or anyone else who despises arbitrary rules.
Research shows that transitions are a good time to establish or change habits. When you move to a new city, start a new job, join a new group, etc . . . everything is new. And because everything is different, it is easy to shake up your routines and leave old habits behind or add new ones to your life.
However, the new year is not really a transition. It is just a date on the calendar. Most people will return to the same jobs and schools they went to in December. They will continue living in the same community, with the same people, doing the same things as before. January 1 may mean a new calendar or planner, but nothing fundamental has changed. Life continues pretty much the same and making a big fuss about an arbitrary date turns off a lot of people.
If you feel animosity towards arbitrary dates or rules, feel free to go ahead and skip the New Year’s resolutions. And if there is something you truly do want to change, look for a real transition point to help you make it easier.
2. You don’t need to wait for an artificial deadline to make change.
Just because I don’t like New Year’s resolutions does not mean I eschew all change. Sometimes change is good and neccessary. But you don’t have to wait for a new year to make changes. There is nothing magical about January 1st.
If you decide you want to start exercising or meditating or start a gratitude journal. Just do it. Don’t put it off until some “official date.”
As the saying goes, the best time to set up a new habit is twenty years ago. The second best time is now. Not next week, or next month, or next year.
Often, deciding to make change is the hardest part. But you can take advantage of that momentum by starting right away. If your decision coincides with the new year, great! But you can also start new habits on January 29, March 16, or September 10. There is nothing special about the new year.
3. The January blues are a real thing for you and this time of year is already challenging.
In the northern hemisphere, the new year comes at the start of the winter. And depending on where you live, this can mean months of gray, dark days. Cold temperatures. Snow and ice. A lack of sunlight leaves many people feeling sad, tired, and unmotivated.
If you find yourself in this camp, this might not be the time of the year to set lofty new goals that will tax you mentally and physically. Perhaps instead of setting your alarm for 4 am to run six miles before work, you allow yourself to sleep in and then start the day slowly with a cup of tea and a sun lamp. Or instead of forcing yourself to go to a painting class after work, you come home, put on your comfies, and watch Gossip Girl for the third time.
The winter used to be a time to step back, stay home, rest, and recharge. Obviously, in modern society this is no longer necessary for survival. But maybe it is necessary for self-preservation. If winter is already hard for you, it’s okay to take some time “off.”
That said, I do recommend trying to get outside during daylight hours, even if you don’t see much sun, for a few minutes every day. Both the fresh air and natural light will boost your mood. But it doesn’t have to be a hike in the woods or a long run. A walk to the mailbox or the corner will do the trick. This is a great time of year to keep things simple.
4. You’re going through a major life challenge or transition.
This should go without saying, but in a society where we still suppress most of our emotions and mental health challenge, and a great deal of our physical challenges, I don’t think it’s as obvious as it should be.
If you are already carrying a heavy load–grief, an empty nest, divorce, moving, aging parents, unemployment, illness (of you or a loved one), this is not the time to tackle New Year’s resolutions. You need to focus on taking care of yourself right now and getting through the days.
All the New Year’s messaging promises that with the right skin care routine or meal delivery service your life will be better. But these are false promises. Even during the best of times. Don’t be fooled into thinking these things will solve real challenges.
Of course, if meal delivery makes your life easier, then by all means, set up a subscription. And if a facial makes you feel better for thirty minutes, go ahead and enjoy. Just don’t let marketers talk you into something you don’t really want to do.
5. You like yourself the way you are.
One of most common expressions used this time of year is “New year, new you.” Please excuse me while I gag.
You you don’t need a new you. Certainly not every year. Maybe if you are in your early twenties and still figuring life out, this makes sense. But once you reach a certain age, life should not be a constant process of reinvention.
This doesn’t mean that you won’t change. Change is inevitable Life is a constant process of evolution. This happens naturally through our experiences, events, and relationships. But it. isn’t something you have to seek out. It’s not like trying on a new outfit.
The goal shouldn’t be chasing new, better versions of ourselves. Instead we should be learning who we are at our core, because those things don’t really change, and becoming comfortable with ourselves.
You don’t need anyone’s permission to like yourself, exactly as you are, today. If by some miracle you’ve gotten to this place, then please ignore all the people trying to make you doubt yourself.
And if you aren’t there yet, no worries. Most of us aren’t. Which brings me to the three resolutions that are actually worth making.
Try these New Year’s resolutions this year
1. Accept yourself just the way you are.
You don’t have to lose ten pounds, launch a start-up, or get Botox to like yourself. You don’t need a new wardrobe or a bigger house or a fancier handbag. You don’t need to be quieter, more outgoing, more adventurous, or less impulsive. You can just be you. Stop trying to change yourself to fit someone else’s mold.
2. Don’t listen to unsolicited advice.
This one makes the first one a heck of a lot easier. The world is full of unsolicited advice. From tv news stories to Facebook ads to judgmental family, friends, and strangers, it seems that everyone has something to say about you and your decisions. Almost all of this advice is wrong. Don’t be tempted, taunted, or terrorized by unsolicited advice. Just put on your metaphorical noise-canceling Beats and move on.
3. Be kind.
This last one needs no explanation, The world is full of hate and anger. No New Year’s resolution is going to change all that. But you can make the world a little bit more gentler for the people you interact with.
It costs nothing to be kind. (And it costs a lot to be angry.) Don’t waste the energy.
Your small act of kindness just might make someone’s day.
And now, a bonus New Year’s recipe . . .
Just because I’m not a fan of most New Year’s resolutions doesn’t mean I don’t like New Year.
Well, actually I don’t. It’s always been my least favorite holiday. Too much pressure to have fun. Too many drunken fools on the roads. And to much post-holiday clean-up and undecorating. Plus a return to school for the kids, which I hate.
Although this year, my kids get an extra few days at hime I am actually looking forward to moving past the holidays and jumping back into work, routines. Plus, we’ve got lots of great travel on our calendar in 2024 and I am super excited about that.
So I thought I’d share a fun little Champagne Cupcake recipe with you today.
Champagne Cupcakes
I know Champagne Cupcakes are a bit controversial. About a decade ago, when Cupcake Wars reigned supreme on the Food Network, the were way overdone and often underwhelming. But this is an easy, festive recipe that starts with a box mix (Duncan Hines is my favorite) and doesn’t take long to make. But it’s pretty and perfect for your New Year celebrations.
Champagne Cupcakes
Equipment
- medium mixing bowl
- Hand mixer
- Cupcake tins
- oven
- Small bowl
- Food processor or blender
- Stand mixer
- Large bowl
- Piping bag
- Star tip
Ingredients
FOR THE CUPCAKES:
- 1 15.25 oz box French vanilla or white cake mix
- 1 cup sparkling wine such as champagne, prosecco or cava
- 1 4- serving package Vanilla instant pudding
- 4 eggs
- 1/2 cup vegetable oil
- 1 tsp vanilla
FOR THE STRAWBERRY MOUSSE:
- 10 ounces frozen sliced strawberries defrosted
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar
- 1 cup cold whipping cream
FOR THE CHAMPAGNE BUTTERCREAM:
- 3 sticks salted butter softened
- 6 1/2 cups powdered sugar
- 3 tbsp. heavy cream
- 1/2 c. sparkling wine such as champagne or prosecco, reduced by half
- Gold and white sparkly sprinkles for garnish
Instructions
FOR THE CUPCAKES:
- Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and line a muffin tin with paper liners.
- In a large bowl, combine the cake mix, pudding mix, 1 cup sparkling wine, 4 eggs, vanilla and 1/2 cup oil and blend with a hand mixer until light and creamy, about 3 minutes.
- Fill each muffin cup with 3-4 tablespoons of batter (about 2/3 fun).
- Bake for 12-15 minutes until tops are spongy.
- Let cool for 5 minutes in the pans, then transfer the cupcakes to a wire cooling rack to cool completely, about 1 hour.
FOR THE STRAWBERRY MOUSSE:
- Add the defrosted strawberries and the 1/3 cup sugar to a blender or food processor and puree. .
- In a cold bowl add 1 cup cream and beat until stiff peaks form.
- Fold in the strawberry puree and refrigerate for approximately 1 hour or over night.
FOR THE BUTTERCREAM:
- In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat 1 1/2 cups butter on medium speed until creamy (about 1-2 minutes). Add half the powdered sugar (about 23 cups) and mix well, scraping down the sides of the bowl as necessary. Add the tablespoons of heavy cream and 1 cup prosecco. Mix on low speed just until combined. Add the remaining powder sugar and mix on low until incorporated. Then increase to medium-high speed and beat for 1-2 minutes, until light and fluffy.
ASSEMBLE THE CUPCAKES:
- Fill a pastry bag with the strawberry mousse and a long tip. Pipe mouse into the cupcakes. (Alternatively, you can cut out the center of each cupcake and place a dollop of mousse inside the cut out.
- Spread the icing on the cupcakes or transfer it to a piping bag fitted with a large star tip. Pipe the icing around the outer edge of the cupcake, spiraling into the center until the cupcake is completely covered.
- Top with gold sprinkles and serve.
Notes
If the thought of not making New Year’s resolutions leaves you a little bit uncomfortable, perhaps you might like choosing a word of the year instead. Read more about the word of the year here. And stay tuned, next week I’ll reveal what my word is for 2024.
Off we go!
P.S. Try these delicious cupcake recipes too: Eggnog cupcakes or Red Velvet Cupcakes.
