A message of hope for high school seniors . . .

This post is for all the high school seniors out there . . .

• The ones who are stressed and struggling and confused.
• The ones who feel like failures because they don’t know what they want to do with the rest of the lives.
• The ones anxiously awaiting acceptance letters and scholarship offers to see if their lifelong dreams can come true.
• The ones who can’t wait to “start over” and forge a new identity.
• The ones who feel left behind as they watch classmate after classmate make plans for the future.
• The ones who are secretly afraid of moving away from home, from friends, from mom and dad.
• The ones who are worried about how they will keep a long distance relationship going. Or wondering if they really want to.
• The ones who are dying just a little bit inside with every senior night, every award, every last game, performance, or recital.

Senior year is painted as one big party. A time for fun and celebration and excitement.

And it can be those things. It should be those thing. But it’s not only those things. It can be painful too.

Senior year: a time of transition

Senior year is also a time of uncertainty, transition, disappointment, good-byes. A time you’ve probably looked forward to for years, but now that it’s here you wish would slow down just. a. little. bit.

Regardless of what you choose to do after graduation, this is a time of change. For many of you, it’s the first really big change of your lives. And change is scary. Change is hard. Change is exhausting.

If you feel stressed out right now, about everything. And nothing, I see you. And, without belittling anything you’re feeling, I want you to know that it’s going to be okay. (And I can say that not because I have it all figured out, but because I don’t.)

It’s okay not to have it all figured out.

It’s okay to not know what you want to do for the rest of your life.

It’s okay to feel scared, sad, and unsure.

There is nothing magical about turning 18. Or walking across a stage and being handed a diploma. You don’t turn into an adult over night.

Heck, a lot adults don’t even know how to be an adult. Many of your parents are walking around in their middle-aged bodies watching you jump into this next chapter of your life wondering when, if ever, they are going to figure it all out. And by many, I mean me. But I know I am not the only one.

You have no obligation to make other people happy. Not your friends. Not your partner. Not your teachers. Not your coaches. Not your parents.

You’ve got more time than you think

You don’t need to know what you want to be when you grow up. You don’t need to pick the right major. You don’t need to go to the most prestigious school or pick the most successful program. You don’t need to go to college at all.

Life is not a direct route from A to B to C. [If you’re lucky], it’s a long, crazy journey filled with lots of wrong turns and detours and unexpected stops along the way. You can go forward. And you can go back. You can turn around and start again.

Regardless of what anyone tells you, the decisions you make right now, at 17 or 18 years old, do not have to define the rest of your life. At least most of them. (Stay away from drugs and crime and risky sexual encounters. Don’t drive drunk or put yourself in dangerous circumstances. Those things have lasting consequences that are harder to overcome. Okay, lecture over.)

This is the time to figure out who you want to be

Listen to your instinct. Stay true to yourself. Do the things that feel right to you.

You have no obligation to make other people happy. Not your friends. Not your partner. Not your teachers. Not your coaches. Not your parents.

This is your life. And this is the one time in your life when you are truly free to put yourself first. Listen to your heart. Follow your passions. Explore your dreams.

Not sure what those are yet? No worries. Find some good honest work. Throw yourself into it. You’ll quickly learn what you love. And, more importantly, what you hate. Put yourself out there so you can meet people and try new things. Do not be afraid to fail.

Change is good

And know that you can change your mind. Today. Tomorrow. In twenty years.

We can’t even imagine what the world will be like in twenty years. The job you’ll be working then probably doesn’t exist today. How can you possibly plan for that?

Be curious. Be open to new possibilities. Be kind.

Do what you say you’re going to do.

Those are the skills that matter most.

Make time for fun. And friends. And family. Make connections with other people. Don’t be so busy building the perfect life that you forget to live.

Embrace the chaos. You don’t have to have all the answers to be happy. No-one has all the answers.

And be prepared . . . life is full of disappointment and surprises. Some good. Some not so good. One of the most important things you can learn is to roll with it. And you will learn this, because there really ins’t another choice. When people say “I was so much stronger than I realized,” this is what they are talking about. Human beings are resilient.

The best is yet to come

No matter what anyone says, senior year is not the best time of your life. Your entire life is ahead of you. Full of possibility.

The only wrong choice is not choosing. Don’t let fear hold you back. Be willing to be uncomfortable, during your senior year and beyond.

You’ve got this. I believe in you. And I will stand [figuratively] beside you every step of the way. (Unless you go to Hawaii, and then I’m really coming).

Off we go!

P.S. Now go bake yourself some brownies. Chocolate always makes your feel better.