Love It or Leave It

Recently I was listening to a podcast–I honestly don’t remember which one, all I know is it had two female cohosts–about “What’s In” and “What’s Out” for 2024. I’m sure you’ve seen the latest version of resolutions, goals, words of the year, etc. . . . all over your social media.

While I did not participate in this ritual myself, I did get a kick out of seeing other people’s lists. Is it just me or are they all pretty much the same?

Anyway . . .. one host was talking about how she’s going to finally clean out her closet (something I also desperately need to do) and she’s using the “Is it a 10?” method to sort her clothes.

Is it a ten?

The idea is that if an item of clothing is not a “ten”, she’s going to get rid of it. (I presume she’s planning to donate these items and not just dump them in a landfill.)

Her cohost embraced this idea. They decided that the “Is it a ten?” philosophy should not only apply to existing clothing items, but to everything–books, movies, home decor, kitchen gadgets, and, perhaps most importantly future purchases.

I found myself thinking about this way of making decisions long after the podcast. I was wondering how I could apply this to my own life.

We most definitely live in a consumerist society built on [over]consumption. A solid policy to reign in some of those impulse purchases that aren’t really all that satisfying would be a positive development. I’m speaking only for myself here. I admittedly buy too much crap.

I’m trying to be better. To be more intentional. To really think through my purchases. And I have made some improvements. But I have a long way to go.

Is this the right standard?

The problem with the “Is it a 10?” question was I was getting Marie Kondo-esque vibes. While that might be a good criterion to use when deciding to keep or purchase clothing (if you have the disposable income, time, and access to quality that allow you to purchase only items that are tens, which most people do not), was such a stringent requirement really necessary for EVERYTHING?

As someone who already struggles with analysis paralysis this “rule” did not seem like one that would work for me. I did not want to have to consider whether every toothbrush, hand lotion, or picture frame needs to be “prefect.”

I am at a place in my life where I prioritize quality one quantity. I’d rather spend more for the good umbrella that isn’t going to be blow to smithereens in the first wind storm or the socks that aren’t going to stretch out and fall off my heels. But it has taken me a long time together this to this place. These are luxuries I could not always afford.

Sometimes the seven dollar umbrella or eight pack of socks from the grocery store is the only option and is good enough.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I had been using a similar philosophy for many things for a long time.

Take food, for one . . .

Food rules

Many years ago some family members were gravely ill and had to modify their diets significantly. I did a lot of research both on what foods were best for them to eat and how to [possibly] avoid some of their health issues. For a long time I was very stringent about what I bought and fed my family.

But cooking three meals a day, plus multiple snacks (I had three young kids), seven days a week got old really fast. And while there is no shortage of diet advice, the research is all pretty sketchy and you can find a study to support anything you want.

Over time I eased up on my food rules and now there’s nothing except for nuts that is off-limits. You can read more about my food philosophy here. But . . .

And this is the interesting thing, there are many things I choose not to eat anymore. (Again, I recognize this is another sign of privilege. I have the income and access to foods that allow me to be discerning. That’s why I used the word “choose.”)

There are many every day, ordinary foods that lots of people eat that make me feel unwell. It shouldn’t be a surprise that I avoid foods that give me a stomach ache.

But I am also very choosy about foods that I like. I have a sweet tooth and I love good, dark chocolate. But I have no interest in eating a Hershey’s bar. (No offense to Hershey’s–I know lots of people including my own children who think it’s really good chocolate.) It just doesn’t taste good to me.

I could easily eat a half-dozen homemade cookies. But a packages of store bought cookies will seat untouched in my pantry for years. (If you like cookies too, check out my Nut Free Cookie Guide with six delicious recipes in it.)

I feel the same way about yogurt. I buy 2% or 5% Greek yogurt. And if I’m somewhere that has fat-free Greek yogurt or one of those artificially flavored yogurt-like options, I’ll just skip it. It’s not because I think its fake or unhealthy or anything like that. It’s simply that I don’t like it.

Am I too picky?

I have always been picky. Or perhaps discerning is a better word. Before I gave up most meat, I actually ate a lot of foods. But I’ve always wanted them to be just so. So I guess you could say that for years I’ve been using the “Is it a 10?” test for food.

Again, I know this is a luxury afforded me because of privilege. I’m not saying I wouldn’t eat a McDonald’s burger if I were starving. But I can’t e even imagine what it truly means to be starving.

I also apply this rule to many household and personal care products. In addition to food allergies, my family also has eczema and the skin sensitivities. We can only use certain laundry detergents, cleaning products, and lotions and soaps. If I can’t find the ones that meet my criteria then I don’t buy anything.

Some would call this picky. I call it practical.

And once I realized that I have been using a variation of the “Is it a ten?” question in many areas for many years, I decided I would definitely give this philosophy a try. But I’m going to be a little less stringent.

My question when considering a new purchase or undertaking a decluttering task is going to be, “Do I love it?” And yes, you can (and should_ love things that are not a ten. Not everything has to be perfect.

Love it or leave it

But if I don’t love it, I’m going to leave it. Or live without it.

The first project I’m going to tackle with this philosophy is my closet. Because there are lots of things in there I don’t love. (Like probably at least half of the leggings I own.) I’m not sure how it’s going to go. I think it will be easier to apply to things going forward, but hopefully it will help with the decluttering too.

Let me know if you have any great decluttering philosophies.

Off we go!