I Miss the Elf on the Shelf (and a recipe for Mexican Hot Chocolate Muffins)

Today I want to address the elf in the room. You know the one I mean, the infamous Elf on the Shelf who has built himself quite the legion of enemies. I’m not sure what he’s done to deserve the hate. In fact, I have to admit it, it puzzles me what any stuffed toy could possibly have done to be as vilified as the little red guy is.

I mean, do the elf. Don’t do it. Whatever. That’s up to you. But enough with the maligning already. Leave the poor elf alone.

In recent years, hatred for the Elf on the Shelf has come to an all-time high. I can’t say exactly why this is. I have my suspicions, but this is a family blog so I’m not going to get into that today. Several of the mom Facebook groups I’m in express abject horror at the prospect of participating in this holiday tradition. And influencers, large and small, go at great lengths to distance themselves from the elf and all he represents. Here’s a hilarious article by Scary Mommy that gives a scary accurate picture of the resentment.

f one were to land here from Saturn it wouldn’t take long to understand the very clear message: The Elf on the Shelf is evil and no self-respecting mom would participate in this ludicrous tradition.

Why People Hate the Elf on the Shelf

On one level I get it. I really do.

The Elf on the Shelf was created in 2005 and in less than two decades its creators have amassed a fortune of over $50 million. Capitalism, er commercialism (are they the same?), at its best. The Elf and all has accoutrements have definitely been a commercial success.

The Elf on the Shelf comes in a number of varieties. Boy elves, girl elves, different skin colors, eye colors. Each year there are new outfits, pets, friends, play sets and more to maximize the elf experience. And if this is what turns people off, I get it. Lord knows the push for materialism is at an all-time high in December.

But this isn’t the whole story. Because I see those same people spending a small fortune on other traditions. This, of course is fine. That’s the great thing about America. You get to decide which absurd obsessions to spend your hard-earned money on. So if you’d rather amass an army of nutcrackers or invest thousands in your outside lights display that’s your prerogative. No-one has to do the elf.

If you want keep the focus of the season on religion, family, or any thing else that’s important to you, it makes total sense not to do the elf. (But here’s a thought for you, one that’s sort of earth-shattering in the age of social media, you don’t have to complain about him either.)

According to the articles I’ve read (and I’ve read a lot, I tend to get a bit defensive about the elf), it seems that the opposition falls generally into three categories:

1. It’s creepy. (An elf spying on your child and reporting back to Santa is just plain weird. (It is kind of hard to argue with that.)
2. It’s expensive. Keeping up with the Joneses elf requires a second mortgage at an already expensive time of year. And when we all live and die by Instagram updates and viral Tik Tok reels it is easy to think that everyone else’s Elf on the Shelf is having more fun.
3. It’s too much work/too stressful. This is by far the biggest complaint. Having to remember the move the elf everyday is too stressful. Busy moms, because let’s face it is usually the mom who is most responsible for making holiday magic, don’t want one more thing to worry about in December.

As a mom of three [mostly] grown children, all of whom loved the elf, this is the one that really makes me sad. Not because I think you can’t experience holiday magic without the Elf on the Shelf. You 100% can. But because this was such a joyous tradition for my family and I really miss my littles.

What I wouldn’t give for the excitement of one more morning searching for the Elf on the Shelf.

Our Elf on the Shelf (or should I say elves?)

We were early elf adopters. Back before the days of social media. I got our Elf Pete in 2007 when my oldest son was in pre-school. His teacher, at his Catholic school, had one. Each day the kids said a prayer together and the elf “went to heaven” each night to share their prayers. The next day he returned in a new hiding place. When my son told me about this I thought it was a little sus, but also sweet.

It wasn’t long before we had an elf of our very own.

Our elf was not a creepy peeping Pete. I never bought into the spying elf baloney. For one thing, we never focused on the naughty and nice list in our home. As a kid, who was never naughty, I spent all of Christmas Eve fretting that Santa would skip my house and my parents would be so disappointed in me. I know. I was anxious even then. When I learned the truth I promised never to put this kind of unnecessary worry on my own kids.

So, our Elf on the Shelf was a toy much like Woody and Buzz (from Toy Story). A child’s plaything by day. An adventurer by night. Each night after the kids went to bed, he played in the house with other toys. And then found a new place to rest during the day.

And our elf wasn’t into mischief. I never wasted toothpaste or lipstick scribbling on mirrors. I didn’t make a huge mess in my kitchen. And I was never into potty humor. If I didn’t want my kids to do these things, why would I model such bad examples?

For the most part, our Elf on the Shelf hid in silly places. Sometimes he made muffins (and cleaned up his mess), left the occasional treat, or played a game with other toys. But it was [relatively] easy and all in good fun.

And it worked because I loved it.

Over the years we added a girl elf and a reindeer to the family. And sure, those last couple years I posted photos on Insta (when I remembered). But for me, it was never a competition. It was a fun, family tradition that I shared with my kids. And I wouldn’t change a second of it.

I still bring the elves out each year. And usually they hang out in the same couple spots all season. Sometimes one of my big kids hides them and it takes us days to notice.

It’s just not the same.

3 Good Reasons to Do the Elf on the Shelf

I’m not trying to talk anyone into doing the Elf on the Shelf. I know how busy this time of year is. And although it is true that days are long (especially in December), the years are short, that doesn’t help you now when you are the one not sleeping.

But if you considering the elf and can’t find any positives in the sea of vitriol I’d like to share 3 good reasons to do the elf.

1. It’s inexpensive. After the initial elf investment (about $36 in 2024) there is no need to spend more money on this tradition. Sure, you can buy outfits, friends, and props if you want to, but these aren’t required to enjoy the Elf on the Shelf. You can simply hide him (the way the tradition was originally intended) or use what you already have at home to stage your elf. Your kids don’t need crazy. Simple is better. In comparison to things like the Nutcracker or Polar Express (something I’d never pay for again), the elf is downright cheap.
2. It’s easy. I see you objecting, but hear me out. You don’t have to leave your house to experience the elf magic. You don’t have to put on pants or make sure your kids have something other than sweatpants to wear. You don’t have to do any major decorating or make a mess. Compared to most holiday traditions–decorating the tree, baking cookies, building gingerbread houses–this is a downright easy one. It doesn’t require interacting with strangers (just a stuffed toy) or fighting holiday crowds. It all takes place in the comfort of your own home. It also doesn’t require any advance planning (Instagram photos not withstanding). But its a heck of lot easier to throw together at the lest minute than an Activity Advent Calendar or the 12 Days of Christmas.
3. It’s fun. December is a long month when you’re five. You have to wait all the way until Dec. 25th for the real magic. The Elf on the Shelf allows you to spread that magic out all month long. Kids get to experience excitement and joy each morning (it just might get them out of bed at a time of year when the world is in almost perpetual darkness). And you get to experience their joy every day, rather than waiting until the bid day that often flies by in a flash.

In comparison to a lot of holiday traditions the Elf on the Shelf is actually pretty simple.

It’s okay to like the Elf on the Shelf

So, if you are a mom who enjoys the elf. Or wants to try it on your own terms. Or who thinks it might be fun . . . consider this your permission to go for it. Haters gonna hate. But kids will remember these memories forever.

And remember, you can enjoy the Elf on the Shelf without:

1. Buying into the spying elf story. Your house, your traditions.
2. Spending extra money or making elaborate messes.
3. Making each day an Insta-worthy event. (Your kids don’t care about that anyway.)

And if you aren’t team elf, no worries. I know you are creating lots of other magical memories for you children. There’s nothing special about the elf’s magic. But there’s also nothing toxic about it either.

Either way, I’m jealous of your little people holiday fun. And if you do want to add an elf to your family, you can find one here.

And now for a recipe . . .

Mexican Hot Chocolate Muffins

Once a season Pete and Izzy did bake for the kids. It was usually a muffin or scone that they could enjoy before school. This Mexican Hot Chocolate Muffin recipe as one of our all-time favorites!

These muffins are sweet, spicy, and delicious. They taste like the holidays and are an unexpected addition to brunch.

Not into spicy? No worries. Try these gingerbread muffins instead.

Off we go!