I'll never be sorry for taking my kids out of school for vacation

taking my kids out of school for travel cover image of St. Augustine beach

Happy Black Friday!

I’m writing to you today from sunny St. Augustine. Have you been? This city is a-ma-zing!

The architecture! The history! The restaurants! The allergy awareness.

We stopped into an ice-cream shop the other day (Island Ice Cream Cafe) and asked if they had any safe ice-cream. The clerk raised her eyebrows in surprise and said, “Of course we do. I think that’s the law.”

Oh sweet girl, I wanted to say, how I wish that were so. But she presented with my son with six different options, opened a new container, and pulled out a sterilized scoop. It was magical. And delicious.

(If you aren’t lucky enough to find a safe ice-cream shop on vacation, you can always stock up on Ben and Jerry’s. Cookie Dough or Haagen Dazs White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle, two fun flavors that are surprisingly safe for nut allergies.

Our Thanksgiving tradition

We’ve been going away for Thanksgiving since my mom died. This is our seventh(!?!) year. Well, sixth – we had to skip 2020 (thanks COVID). It’s one of my favorite new traditions. I mean, I’d much rather my mom was still here celebrating with us, but this little get away during the holidays is just what we I need before the real craziness of December kicks in.

And no, I don’t mind skipping the elaborate Thanksgiving meal one bit. I know that might be a bit sacrilegious for a food blogger, but at the risk of offending lots of turkey-loving readers, I don’t even like turkey. Plus, I am gearing up to spend the next month in the kitchen. So this is one holiday dinner I will gracefully hand over to a chef.

Of course, traveling with kids is not without its headaches.

And I don’t mean the whining, moaning, “are we there yet” type of problems. My youngest is fourteen. Fortunately, those days are behind us.

Nope. I’m referring to the audacity I have to take my kids out of school. For two days. During a holiday week. Where even in high school the bulk of their time is spent watching movies and playing games.

Skipping school to join the circus

Listen, I have never shied away from taking my kids out of school. Never.

I am a former teacher. I worked in education for over twenty years. (Still do, just no longer in the system.) I never once begrudged a family who took their child on vacation during the school year. And I never hesitated to pull my own kids out of school.

But the way the school district acts, you’d think I’d announced I was withdrawing them permanently and joining a circus. Taking kids out of school for vacation is “seriously discouraged.” And every day out of the classroom is a “detriment to their learning and their future.”

Really people, have you actually sat in a high school classroom recently?

A bad case of entitlement

I was recently scrolling Instagram and came across a post by a teacher incensed that a parent sent a note stating that the student would miss three days of school for a family vacation and would turn in her work when she returned. I wish I could find the post, which I swear I saved, but alas it’s disappeared. Maybe it’s with all my missing socks?

The teacher was furious that this entitled parent expected accommodations for a family vacation. Many others chimed in that this is what’s wrong with our country. Entitled parents raising entitled kids. It’s not fair to the teacher. Kids need to learn responsibility. Teachers are already too busy. Family’s should one travel on school breaks. School is more important than travel. Blah, blah, blah . . .

Still others pointed out this absence would be illegal in their district and the student would not be permitted to make up the work. (We’ll save the hypocrisy of that rule for another post.)

I was truly amazed at the level of hatred expressed in the comments because nowhere in the note (you’ll just have to trust me on this), did the parent say ask for any accommodations. It was simply a courtesy notification.

Furthermore, in many states, students are permitted a certain number of days for travel. So the parent was simply letting the teacher know her child would be absent. As a teacher, I always appreciated a heads up when a student would be out of school for a couple of days. It saved me wondering. And worrying.

I’m pretty sure this mom never expected to inspire such wrath or become the topic of a heated social media debate.

Valid reasons to take kids out of school for vacation

But I was truly taken aback by how many people believe that kids should only be allowed to travel during school breaks. Neither children nor their parents have any control over when these breaks fall. They often change from year to year. It’s impossible to predict or plan in advance. And, in some cases, they change during the school year. Why should family travel be at the mercy of a local school board? Many of whom don’t have children?

The presumption that families can and should travel only on school breaks is the epitome of entitlement. There are a lot of good reasons why families may choose or need to travel outside of state-sanctioned free time. Here are just a few:

Cost. The tourism industry knows when school breaks are and they are capitalize on this time. Everything from airfare to hotels to theme park admission is significantly more expensive during school breaks. Not all families can afford this.
Work. Most parents these days have to work. And not all of them get to choose when to take vacation. Many companies have black out dates or limits on how many people can be off at once. Certain industries don’t permit time-off during certain seasons. Expecting that all parents can choose their vacation to correspond to school vacations is also privileged.
Conflicting obligations. Many times a vacation isn’t just a vacation, but a family reunion, baptism, birthday party, wedding, graduation, etc . . . These things don’t always coincide with school breaks.

For many families, the only opportunity to travel is during the school year. Should these children and their families be deprived all the benefits of travel simply because their finances or family situation don’t accommodate the academic calendar?

Learning occurs outside the classroom

Kids learn a lot during travel. And that’s true no matter the destination. Whether you are visiting a foreign country, a historic site, a national park, or extended family, there are many lessons to be learned away from school.

Travel gives children the opportunities to not just learn about but experience history–to see, hear, smell, and touch historical places and artifacts. To make history come alive.

Travel gives children the opportunities to interact with new people, to experience other cultures, to hear other languages, and to see how different people live. None of this can be duplicated in a classroom.

It also teaches important life skills like elapsed time, reading maps, sticking to a budget, communicating with others, figuring out a tip, and more. And travel helps kids develop soft skills like patience, compromise, time management, kindness, and empathy. These will serve them well throughout their lives and make up for any losses that accompany taking kid out of school for vacation.

The immeasurable value of family time

But all those reasons, as compelling as they are, are secondary. The number one reason I will never hesitate to pull my kids out of school for “vacation” is the inherent value of family time.

Life is crazy. Most families are dual-income. Kids are involved in sports, activities, arts, and more. There is so much homework. And children grow up so fast. Family vacation offers valuable time for families to disconnect with real life and connect with one another. Valuable time to make memories and create the kind of solid connections that are key to healthy relationships (and in many instances improved academic performance.)

Schools say they want to families to be more involved. But in my experience that’s often not true. What the school really wants is for the parents to blindly follow their lead, to support teachers over children, and to prioritize school rules over all else.

My family is a huge supporter of education. My husband and I have a combined 42 years of formal education between us. My oldest son is working on his Masters at 20 years old, after completing an accelerated B.S. program. My daughter is in the top five of her class. We value education.

But our priorities are in the right place. My family will always come first. And parents should not be discouraged from spending quality time with their children just because it doesn’t fit the school’s timetable. That’s why I’ll never be sorry for taking my kids out of school for vacation.

And you don’t have to be either!

Off we go!